i think someone has been let loose inside my head and ate everything up (sam!). honestly. i am considering changing url's. but what the hell for? she already read everything. i just hope to those above that she keeps her mouth shut. i doubt what i've written is hardly something you can easily forget. goodness. i just thought of an awesome reason to change url's. what if she spreads it to everyone she knows and visits it regularly? i'm hoping she doesn't, but i'm totally paranoid. ahh! so, any ideas for a new url? i knew it was a mistake to put the link on the badass blog. stupid, stupid, andrea. right now, i need to study for bio and english. goodness. tons of memorizations. the math exam was hard. i didn't finish. about 5 blanks? 10 wild guesses. 10 mistakes? and that's just the optimistic estimation. hopefully i don't fail it. i'm on rocky ground in math as it is. the filipino exam was as could be expected. odd man out, etcetera, etcetera. the questions were very general which was good.

today was regie's last day. i'm really gonna miss her. we've gone a long way. during grade school, she was someone i borrowed a folder from whn i forgot to bring one. on the first day of high school, she was the one who told me to get out of my seat because a new student has been added to the list (in the politest tone of voice. polite, not friendly). since then, after being forced to do countless number of projects together (because her class number is 3, mine is 4) we've grown substantially closer (i admit, i don't really know what 'substantially' means exactly). it's been fun to make her laugh. i've found she's likelier to laugh at corny jokes than the really elaborate, witty jokes. not that she doesn't get it, she just prefers the corny jokes. hey, that's her sense of humor. come to think of it, all senses of humor appeal to me, except the 'dead baby' jokes (ugh). she's been really fun to hang out with and she's good company. i realize that i'm really gonna miss what we shared. she just turned 15 on the eleventh. she's leaving for bali, indonesia tomorrow for her vacation. (*because of a not so wide jeepney strike, classes were suspended--hell of a lot good that did) so she won't be taking the remaining exams. ahh! miss her already.

i dread tomorrow because we'll have the SEG evaluations then. i have no idea if i'm still part of the debate team. goodness. do i sit with them or the SEG now? ahhh! joining the debate team was a big mistake. urgh!! better let it go now, need to focus on study materials. see ya.

word for the day: paramour-courtesan :)

life for me is a routine now. nothing unexpected ever happens. but i'm still occupied. let me tell you about my past week. since it's sunday now.

moday was the due date for the book report. i think my book report was fine. i just hate though that drawings were an essential part of it. it's a book report. the class is english. why do we have to express ourselves visually? shouldn't it be all about the words? monday was also the day of the music performance. the day when we perform what we have been working on for the whole year. the lyrics, the melody, and the chords. we have to sing and play the piano for this formal introduction of our creations. i practiced the day before...twice. it was pretty easy to get the tune. i practiced one (1) damn stanza. and when i got to school, everybody was like, 'i put chords on my second stanza, just in case'. damn. i didn't put chords on my second stanza, assuming we were only gonna perform the first one. but thanks heavens. god really does love me. we were only required to play 1 stanza. i'm saved. thank you! it went fine. i got 94 out of 100. not terrible. other people had belay play their song on the piano and all they had to do was sing it. i made like alicia keys and sang and played my song. oh, yeah! at first, i forgot i was supposed to sing it but i caught on :D went well, if i do say so myself.

tuesday, nothing much happened until after school. sam and i went to the computer contest. sam told me i was the only new face around. everyone was the same group as before. i was disappointed to be quite honest. sam did all the work so it was really bad. i felt like i didn't contribute anything. so sad. ugh. i hate sam. worst of all, mang anton left me. so i had no way to get home. i was left to read kangkong while waiting for my fetcher. i hung out a bit with bogart and iris. poor iris. she always has to go home so late. talked to them for a bit. in the end, kuya jay picked me up. he looked really pissed about it all. sheesh.

wednesday was pretty eventful. my groupmates for the tle cooking spent all day gathering the appropriate materials for our adolescent cooking later (that didn't come out right). we cooked sinigang na baboy, made calamansi juice, and reg made this awesome dessert - banana surprise. ms. dionisio wasn't there. we got ms. ravanes instead. there are rumors circulating that ms. dionisio is preggers. is it ture? haha. who knows. we finished early, so that's good. i made the bus. so ends wednesday. oh. one more. we had our first class debate. ms. tilos took out bio period. the motion was : THBT classes should start at 8 AM. i was the timer. ms. tilos ended up being really mad at me because i didn't clap loudly enough. gawd. she was so pissed off. moving on...

thursday. boring. we had two debates. ms. tilos didn't ask me to time anymore. lorraine got the job which was like a slap in the face. ugh. sam did really well. she could be in the debate team. seriously. friday was a good day. i was number one in the computer seat work. for once. gawd. it's seriously getting harder. i'm just glad my brain was working then. i love making the list. it's a high i can't let go of. too bad for belay. i wonder what she did wrong. she was in a bad mood all throughout recess. daryll and i tried to make her feel better by buying cheesy fries for us to share. it was still warm and yummy. yum! that kinda made her feel good. i think. i made the bus again. hooray! when i got home, i changed into my comfy house clothes and watched tv until 11. oh, yeah.

saturday, i had every intention of finding my religion project. because while i was sleeping, i dreamt that i had found it. but i couldn't remember which part of the room i found it in - in my dream. so after breakfast, i tied my hair up and prepared myself for a long search and rescue. when i looked in the ironing board (which isn't used as an ironing board anymore) i found it there under some plastic bags. goodness! it wasn't that hard. i felt kinda disappointed because i was so ready to turn my room upside down. but i still felt a good sense of accomplishment. as a matter of fact, after that, i didn't do anything at all anymore. that was enough work for one day. haha. yes, i'm that lazy. it's sunday now. i just finished my math homework. finally. i tried doing it yesterday but i couldn't figure it out. i just gotta finish my religion homework and i'm free. of course, there's still that computer project.

ugh.

i guess you can say i haven't posted in a while. it feels like a month almost, since i last posted. i've spent the whole afternoon in front of the computer screen so my head is starting to ache now. but it is also because of spending so much time on the net that has rekindled my want to blog. i ask you, how can i think about blogging when there are projects to be made everywhere i turn? there just hasn't been any time to think about the day's events and let out my feelings (haha. inside joke). according to my last post, i've been telling you about the getting of cards and the decorations for the parent-daughter bonding. well, the PDB is over. i must say, i wasn't happy at all about how the decorations turned out. no offense to those who were part of the team, but it just looked really tacky. it was not how i imagined it to be at all. blame the lack of ribbon available. that and the fact that i never expected ribbon to be so pricey. so yes, i am at fault. should have used crepe paper instead, oh well. we are an NPO. let me get my calendar to speed you up on things. it has been really useful and reliable so far.

september 15 was when mikka, daryll and lourdes came to my house to do the decortions. it was fun but involved lots of work. we ended up working until 11 in the evening, and we weren't even finished! that must be because we spent lotsa time in national bookstore shopping for materials. we even saw pat evangelista there. daryll got her autograph! that was so insane. truth be told, she's not that big of a celebrity. but hey, a celebrity's a celebrity. daryll had her sign on my 1/2 lengthwise. talk about high school life. things went kinda crazy from there.

i was stressing all next week (after sept 15) because i still didn't have FOB tickets and it was days away. training sort of prevented me from taking a jeepney ride to cubao and getting tickets. another thing that has been clawing at me was that belay still refused to go. i wanted her there but i don't think that the feeling is mutual. her parents being out of town didn't help either. but after lots of sleepless nights worrying about it, my mom finally stepped in and bought mikka and i two awesome tickets, on the day of the concert. insane, right? i can't believe i put it off for so long. but thank heavens that everything fell into place. my mom didn't let me buy a t-shirt though. urgh.

so on september 21, i finally saw FOB live. it was awesome. we did have a run-in with security but we worked our way around that. they confiscated our cameras. naive little girls, displaying their cameras before it even got dark. we sneaked mikka's camera back into her bag before the guard noticed. good thing my camera is so bulky that it passed for 2 cameras. stupid security gurad for not checking. stupid camera guard for believing us. all i can say is, lesson learned. they covered basket case by green day which is pretty special. it was fun overall. i enjoyed hanging out with mikka. i have proclaimed her my official concert buddy. it was fun because everyone was singing along. sigh. i still wish we had vip tickets. we have cool seats but vip is just different.

last week was just brutal. projects needed to be passed, shorts needed to be sewn, compostions had to be completed, and on top of that, it was also our parent-daughter bonding! don't let me forget the speech examination. and on friday, i had a derma appointment! it sounds like a lot when i put it that way, but it sounds like a lot however way i put it. let's just say i never slept earlier than 11. good news regarding the speech exam though, i perfected it! well-deserved too, i might add.

this weekend was supposed to be for IDEA. i didn't attend because of the many above-average projects that needed to be made. i wish the team good luck! hopefully they all break. i miss debate but i i must admit that school is at a higher priority. maybe this kind of mentality is what defeats me as a debater.

i have to go now, but i still want to blog. i won't change my skin because i'm still loving this one. oh, btw, i have plans with sam, belay, and daryll on the 20th of october. it should be fun. perfect opportunity to wear my skinny jeans =) yes, i bought one, out of the kindness of my father's wallet.

mastery tests are coming up, need to bring up my grades. i'm getting nervous.

before i start my speech, let me first recap what my previous post has stated. it said that i finally made the conscious decision of joining the nashdc. well, i did, and now, its over! to be honest, i didn't win anything. sad. haha. with teammates like mine, who needs the opposition? my school didn't break either. too bad. but one school came home with all the awards though. 3 guesses who. it was a fun, educational experience. i definitely don't regret going. one thing though, its hard to get back on my feet in terms of school work. science and english are giving me a very hard time. fortunately, i have awesome friends who help me through this. i'm super tired and sleepy and i just want to rest. i can do that tomorrow because we'll just be having our palihan..so..great! hopefully we'll just have a film viewing+mono block chairs. i love those guide questions so keep 'em coming. right now, i really have to finish my summary of 'a little princess'. it bores me to tears but its what has been decided on. besides, wikipedia is very helpful. the horrible part is, i have to write it longhand. that sucks. i hate writing. but note-taking is totally different (is it?). i'm beginning to not make sense so i'll stop here. too nervous bout my summary i guess. pshaw.

i finally made the conscious decision to join nashdc. hopefully i made the right choice. and i can cope with the school work. its very unlikely that i'll break so i'll probably stay there for a day. shame. i'll miss friday's presentations for filipino. but i'll have fun. i'm really hopeful. we have training today at 3. hmph. that is so debate-like. making me go to school on a holiday.

stop the feel good music and start typing. i have been entered into the IDEAlyte competition. i love the idea of it but i feel like i don't deserve to go. ate clara was approached first, then jody, and then me. i feel so bad about it all. like i forced myself to be part of it. now i have a whole new worry. my dad just came into town and i can't spend time with him. he's been away for so long and i miss him. i miss the freebies and the company. just malling, you know. he told me that he wanted me to go for it but i could tell that he really wants to spend some time with me. i want to spend time with him too! this sucks! not only do i have the nash next week, i also have idea this weekend! good luck to me. i haven't trained in weeks!! i wonder how i'll fare. we have to wear orange--as part of the rainbow. great. i look terrible in orange. it makes me look darker and it doesn't offset the redness of my face. debate is really putting a stop to all other activity besides. i haven't even matter loaded yet. this was supposed to be a free 'n clear weekend. until tuesday. now, i have to spend the entire weekend, and train on tuesday. thursday is the filipino bigkasan and the final day of training. the next day, i leave for nash! ahhh! can i really balance this? can i cope up with the school work? will i be an OS? am i an os for the first quarter? ahhhhh!!!! dad, if you ever read this, i want to spend time with you, i really do because sometimes i don't have the chance. i love you, dad. i have trouble saying that out loud but really, i do.

deabte is for people with no social lives and no academic goals.

i am so confused right now. its all because of debate. ahhh! since i am in the debate team, naturally, i get to compete. but i get to compete in the nashdc. it spans 5 days. 3 of which will be school days. i'm not too confident about going. apart from the fact that i am stc "e", it sucks because i feel debate is getting way too time consuming for me. the debaters are not exactly a great example. they're not outstanding students. and that's what i'm really aiming for. i want to be an os more than anything. debate used to be fun. but now i feel that its just plain work. the pressure is on and nothing or no one is encouraging me to go on. i don't want to miss school at all. what about daryll? daryll is not even a really major concern. well, she is. but you get the point. what about the missed quizzes? practices? tests? lectures? am i supposed to give that up for an extra-curricular activity. omg! what if they actually kick me off the team? that would be the shame of my life. damn. i hope they're not that harsh. debate is really becoming a stress for me. but i'm trapped. maybe next year i'll join an extra curricular activity that doesn't require so much time and energy. like the theresian mag. no bad example. like the explorers. hey, i like science! why, oh, why am i faced with problems other people don't seem to have.

thats what i seem to be suffering from this week. i didn't get into idealite. i so wanted to go. that's the point of joining the team, right? to compete? why didn't i get in? yet marlo and pam get in. even that mirinisa girl. this really sucks. furthermore, my teammates in the nashdc are olivia and the 4th year girl. i hate olivia! she wants to be the pm all the time but she just doesn't do the job a pm is supposed to do. because of her, the whole debate is messed up. gawd! she is so fannoying! another disappointment is that ysabel got a higher grade than i did on our speech practical exam. damn. she just talked a little bit slower and annoyed me more. damn it. i'm sorry. i just feel very angry. these disappointments just seem to pile up and i don't know when my shining moment will come. i'm so sad. urgh! sigh! is this karma? karma for what? what on earth did i do to deserve this? maybe i should just be an OS and prove to them that i'm great. AHHH... i wonder why i'm still on earth...

fuck off, bitch! that is exactly what i want to say to a certain someone. make that, fuck off, bitches! i remembered another person who was a total bitch earlier today. i am pertaining to a certain gloria and a certain bettina. bitches in my life. little specks of insignificant dirt. let's not waste time on them.

so, what has been happening to me ever since i last posted? exactly one week ago. well, i auditioned for the debate team on the 20th. we had to say if we were pro or against and then they give us the topic. the topic they gave me was gay marriage. and i chose against. i did my best but ifelt sure my argument wasn't strong enough. i didn't even give a clear answer on the POI raised by the Debate Team coach, claire. so i was squirming in my bed for 2 nights thinking about the results of my audition. today, at dismissal, i saw the results. and yes, i did get in. HOORAY! i don't feel as excited as i probably could be because lorraine has just totally ruined it for me. and the fact that i was kinda sorta expecting it, didn't heighten my enthusiasm. so, yes, i am part of STCQC's debate team! yay!

this week, i was also obssessing over our reporting, daryll's and i. i hate daryll for not making an effort to contribute anything. she is clearly a person that does not strive for excellence. so it turns out, i get the late nights, the trouble of summarizing and she gets the ready made script and powerpoint, and the photocopying duties. i am aware of the fact that life is not fair. but i'm not going to sacrifice my grade for the sake of teaching her a lesson. sorry, jesus, me and you have different ways of making people learn the lessons in life. i console myself wit the fact that they will probably have a hard life in the workforce. sigh. i am, yet again, bitter. i could ask her to do more but i don't want to risk anything. daryll is a great friend. a horrible partner in projects.

last week, sam lent me 2 books. entitled 'angus, thongs, and full-frontal snogging' and 'on the bright side, i am now the girlfriend of a sex god'. the writing is funny but the story moves so slow. i know that it is a diary type kind of book but i read the princess diaries' and i don't find it boring at all. probably because she just writes the important things. or maybe not even important but essential to the plot. in the books by louise rennison, it includes things that are really of no importance at all. but it is funny. that much is true. well, those were the highlights of my week. take care now.

GREAT THING # 1 wow! i finally made it! I, (name concealed for protection pertaining to the danger that is the internet 7/23/07), a bonafide student of (concealed for the very same resons), is now an Outstanding Student! isn't that so awesome?? i couldn't stop smiling the whole day (Jan 24). the other OSs are marta, mikka, sam, lourdes, patricia, izzy and halecx. yikee!!! i'm finally an OS! YEHEY! teehee. gotta keep it up until 4th quatah

GREAT THING # 2 mrs. dp changed our seating arrangement. i'm not sure if this a great thing because i now reside (?) between sam and daryll. we are so noisy! it's crazy! but miss says she believes we have self-control. haha. bogus i tell you! i'm in the very back row by the way. its very hard to hear things or read small lettering in the blackboard. =)

GREAT THING # 3 we had our SEG session today. its our second to the last meeting. we had our second formal debate today. i'd just like to say that i was on fire!!! ate jacque said that she liked my speech. mostly my first arguement but whatever. we won the debate! me and patricia plan! if it had not been the debate team member that joined ate kat, we would be the clear, concrete winner. i love debating! haha! ate jacque said that i lacked drama. she said i looked like i was too quiet and shy. not aggressive or confident. haha. the motion was "THW bring cellphones to school". me and patricia were the closing government. i was the member of the opposition. patricia is, naturally, the whip. my first arguement was that why would the school take the risk of allowing cellphones to school when they have to deal with lost phones, staling, cheating and other things like that. hehe. ate jacque said that she didn't hear that arguement before! coolness! haha. =)

so ends the great things that happened to me. i have other (not so great) news too. bestfriend (ate remz) keeps sitting on the table i sit at during lunch. she talks to my friends and comments on things that she sees. she still calls me 'seg'. =)

i can definitely say that LIFE IS GOOD MAYBE EVEN AWESOME, AMAZING, GREAT AT THE MOMENT!!!!!! =)

P.S. our outbound trip is tomorrow. gotta go get my beauty rest. haha. (assembly time: 5:30 am)