i'm currently at an internet cafe. with the intention of enlisting for my subjects in UP. but lo and behold, it was moved again. i should've known. what a total waste of time and money. i don't wanna get mad because it is UP and i don't wanna seem ungrateful but seriously, if you say a certain date, you gotta follow through so people's time and money aren't wasted. i'm getting out of here. bye.

of all the bad luck! the sims cs crashed while i was in the middle of playing it. argh. now i have to do all those tasks again. i really don't find it all that fun. but it kills time...so...just do it. i'm all alone here in the house because my parent's are at my brother's oath taking at the manila hotel for his architecture hulabaloo. my sister is with them because my brother lost his driver's license and my dad...well, also lost his. mom can't drive so my sister is left to drive them over there. i opted to stay here...away from the drama that is my parents. i plan to clean my room, but i'll probably end up doing something unproductive.

does anyone know if fergie has a new song?

thats what i seem to be suffering from this week. i didn't get into idealite. i so wanted to go. that's the point of joining the team, right? to compete? why didn't i get in? yet marlo and pam get in. even that mirinisa girl. this really sucks. furthermore, my teammates in the nashdc are olivia and the 4th year girl. i hate olivia! she wants to be the pm all the time but she just doesn't do the job a pm is supposed to do. because of her, the whole debate is messed up. gawd! she is so fannoying! another disappointment is that ysabel got a higher grade than i did on our speech practical exam. damn. she just talked a little bit slower and annoyed me more. damn it. i'm sorry. i just feel very angry. these disappointments just seem to pile up and i don't know when my shining moment will come. i'm so sad. urgh! sigh! is this karma? karma for what? what on earth did i do to deserve this? maybe i should just be an OS and prove to them that i'm great. AHHH... i wonder why i'm still on earth...

i lived in fear. no, i did not have abusive parents. even if i did, i could easily go to the phone and dial bantay bata 911. i lived in fear because of a certain PE teacher. she was quite possibly the meanest teacher i have ever had. why? simple, she hates me. she hates me for not being athletic. she hates me for not becoming an OS. and most importantly, she hates me because i answer back. let's get organized. let's focus first on the first reason i gave. to say it plainly, i suck at sports. i have no hand-eye coordination to speak of and i have two left feet. she cursed me because of this. i was horrible at volleyball, barely tolerable at basketball, and quite stiff while dancing. i hated the school for making us take up PE. i thought physical education was to keep you physically fit. not bring your grades down. which brings me to the second reason i gave. she hates me for not ever being able to be an OS. my classmates say its just tough love. i say its just tough. she told my mother that she has squeezed out all the possible resources for me to make the grade. (note: i always meet the average to become an OS but she just had to make my grade an 84) lets see...for grade one, i wasn't an OS because i was a new student and knew nothing about the morning exercises the old students did. grade 2, here she comes. i didn't become an OS. grade 3, she was my adviser...iyes, i have rotten luck. grade four, free of her at last. i become an OS. through the fifth and sixth grade she followed me...and i didn't become an OS. what does that tell us? thanks, you evil creature, for ruining my life. i hope you don't find it too hot in hell because we all know that you're a sweaty pig. this is harsh, but what can i say? she made me cry so much in front of my classmates, made me regret for so many days why i didn't do better, made me endure my mother's disapproving glances and my father's you'll-get-em-next-time pats. i hate you. i will never appreciate what you have done for me. you made me live in fear. you killed me. the saying goes "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". a part of me died. the part of me that had high hoped for PE. the part of me that knew i could do it. but i'll give you one thing though, you sure made me shut up and listen. i am so thankful that i managed to escape your clutches. because if i didn't, i wouldn't be the OS i am now today.

P.S. have i mentioned her name? good. i never ever wanna speak of her again. but i know i'll never forget her, no matter what i do.

fuck off, bitch! that is exactly what i want to say to a certain someone. make that, fuck off, bitches! i remembered another person who was a total bitch earlier today. i am pertaining to a certain gloria and a certain bettina. bitches in my life. little specks of insignificant dirt. let's not waste time on them.

so, what has been happening to me ever since i last posted? exactly one week ago. well, i auditioned for the debate team on the 20th. we had to say if we were pro or against and then they give us the topic. the topic they gave me was gay marriage. and i chose against. i did my best but ifelt sure my argument wasn't strong enough. i didn't even give a clear answer on the POI raised by the Debate Team coach, claire. so i was squirming in my bed for 2 nights thinking about the results of my audition. today, at dismissal, i saw the results. and yes, i did get in. HOORAY! i don't feel as excited as i probably could be because lorraine has just totally ruined it for me. and the fact that i was kinda sorta expecting it, didn't heighten my enthusiasm. so, yes, i am part of STCQC's debate team! yay!

this week, i was also obssessing over our reporting, daryll's and i. i hate daryll for not making an effort to contribute anything. she is clearly a person that does not strive for excellence. so it turns out, i get the late nights, the trouble of summarizing and she gets the ready made script and powerpoint, and the photocopying duties. i am aware of the fact that life is not fair. but i'm not going to sacrifice my grade for the sake of teaching her a lesson. sorry, jesus, me and you have different ways of making people learn the lessons in life. i console myself wit the fact that they will probably have a hard life in the workforce. sigh. i am, yet again, bitter. i could ask her to do more but i don't want to risk anything. daryll is a great friend. a horrible partner in projects.

last week, sam lent me 2 books. entitled 'angus, thongs, and full-frontal snogging' and 'on the bright side, i am now the girlfriend of a sex god'. the writing is funny but the story moves so slow. i know that it is a diary type kind of book but i read the princess diaries' and i don't find it boring at all. probably because she just writes the important things. or maybe not even important but essential to the plot. in the books by louise rennison, it includes things that are really of no importance at all. but it is funny. that much is true. well, those were the highlights of my week. take care now.

not that significant but...whatever

today is the national elections. may 14, 2007, monday. the commercials endorsing the senatorial candidates (and even the city (?) candidates) will finally stop polluting the air waves. in our family, there are a lot of differences in opinion and few agreements. i personally don't care much about the election because i can't vote. my canadian cousins must feel the same way.

speaking of my canadian cousins, they are off to mauban with our aunt to relax and enjoy swimming in the pool. pfft. i so want to be there. but unfortunately, my aunt didn't invite me :( that's fine, i guess. i have more important things to attend to. sniff.

sam's party. we're going to rockwell. now i know i have to wear something fabulous. it was supposed to be gateway, which is more, you know, middle-class but rockwell is a whole other level. i feel ... for daryll.

leticia* was being a bitch (if my mom can say it in front of me, then i can definitely use it when she's not around) today. her mood swings can be so annoying. fortunately, i am aware of her happy side and will not judge her based on her mood today. honestly, when she gets in that mood, she attacks me. and only me. sure, others get a taste of it but i get it full on. sad.

still sad about fall out boy. bye now!

my mom is, as always, the nagger. she says one thing and then after a few minutes of thinking, comes back with a rephrased version. honestly! it can be so annoying at times! especially now. she keeps nagging me about having to move to the ground floor because our cousins from canada are coming over for a month. is it wrong to say i don't want to??? i don't like it there. because there, she will be my ONLY companion! we are disconnected from the entire house! that is so wrong on so many levels! argh!

well...its me...doodlesz...from doodlesz.blogspot.com. i hate that i can't open it anymore because of a typo. i hate that i wanted to upgrade it to blooger beta. i know i should have been contented with what i had. after all, i worked so hard on it. huhu. i hate this! i have been hoping that by some way or another, i can make the old blog work. but alas, i cannot! that is probably why i have all this pent up anger. this is my outlet of all my fury against the world (doesnt that sound so poetic? haha). okay, maybe this won't be so bad. i can do it over. its not like i don't have the time. i mean, i already finished all my homework. good for me, eh! so let me update you on my life. make up for the lost time. well, to begin with, we got rearranged seats last tuesday. i barely moved. i just forwarded one chair. into regina's old place. my seatmate is sunshine. she's ok and everything but not someone who i can be myself with. it's just so sad because i miss how comfortable i am, i mean was, with nikola. the bright side (is it really?) is that i am near ysabel now. i can sense daryll's jealousy but i don't bother myself with it. what else? i've got it! today at the school bus (arrival time) it was so crowded. the bus was teeming with people. i blame this all on mang anton. he shouldn't have gotten more students than his small bus can carry! i know he wants to make money but come on! you gotta know where to draw the line. speaking of bus issues, aimee is all sad again. she even cried. i don't know why but i'm gonna find out. she said this morning that she will be 1/4 absent tomorrow coz she has to do some turnover stuff for st. joseph. so that means i won't be able to see her tomorrow morning. which also means i'll have to walk alone. boo-hoo. during our guidance period today, we saw lilo and stitch because miss has nothing planned for us to do since she thought we would only be having one period. it was ok, enough.

well, that's it for now! gotta do some major editing for this blog to look as fabulous as the old one!
yay! super positive!

=) doodlesz forevah!