currently listening to: let's just fall in love again - jason castro

this morning, i woke up at around 7 because i needed to be at school by 8 AM. or so i thought. inna texted me that i needed to get to school at that time to turn over the payment for the senior's night photos to mrs. sacdalan. as i groggily looked at the time on my cellphone, i decided, it just wasn't worth the loss of sleep. so i buried my nose on my pillow once more and told my mom (who had come to make sure i was up) to come back at 8 instead so i can get to school by 9. after asking me about the sudden change of plans (which i answered with a grunt and an "eh, ganon eh") she left me in peace.

i got to school at around 9:10 and found a few of my classmates hanging out in front of our classroom. the teachers weren't around yet, apparently.

i saw sam and asked her to come with me to complain to ms. martha about the error in my OS gift. the note inside (signed by the principal) held someone else's name and that bothered my mom terribly. ms. martha was in the middle of a meeting or something so we had to wait a while. when the meeting was done and she was walking over to us, i realized the total stupidity of what i was about to ask her to do for me. i managed to stutter my complain and she totally got on the phone immediately to fix the mess. she sent me to the library where the note will be replaced. that was so nice of her. she truly is one of the nicest people i have ever met. the kind of person who is always happy to see you and the person who will listen and try to help you out as best as she can. she's a keeper, that one! i dropped the book off at the library and they told me to come back next week to get it since they still have to get the note re-printed and re-signed. they actually seemed apologetic about it and when i told my mom that, she was thoroughly pleased. see, we argued about it the night before. me, saying that it was ridiculous and we should just let is slide. and her, saying that the gift didn't mean anything if it wasn't my name on the note. geez. she told me to go to my adviser first (i highly doubted that my adviser would really do anything about it. the possibility that she would just scoff at me and my concern was high.) and then to the office of the principal if that didn't work. thank heavens for ms. martha. huge burden off my shoulders. i'm gonna claim it on monday since i have to be at school anyway for the usherette rehearsal for the undergrad's recognition day.

so i finally get to the classroom and my adviser immediately asks for the list of those people who haven't paid for the senior's night photos yet. i'm glad she was left in charge of that one. makes so much sense too. i hang for a bit with my classmates and then the card distribution began. i gotta be honest. not happy with my grades. especially trigo. friggin' 85! how am i supposed to survive college math with that? and eco was bad news too. 3 points lower! really, sir? so unfair. okay. maybe i did get low scores on the LQs but, c'mon! i recited so much more! pshh. maybe it's better to be good on paper than on the recitation thing. hmmm. definitely better to be good on paper. or else, strike a balance between the two. music and physics both decreased by a point. and the rest, i must say, is good news! on the comments part, it said:

really? that doesn't sound much like me. but i guess i'll take it.

i ordered form 137 for college without really knowing what it's for. apparently i needed another form, 138 this time. goodness. we're not robots you know! you can name the thing! i went home and started the routine that scares me most because i fear it's what i'll do all summer. eat, computer, tv, eat. i even baked these effin' butterscotch brownies! arghhhh! help! friends! classmates! invite me to all the gatherings! please! save me from boredom and all those fattening food!

a'ight. bye for now.

stitch 'n bitch!

this past week has been absolutely dreadful.

thing that made it dreadful #1: the long tests. these tests that are very long make my head spin. i hate that the teachers all planned their LQs on the same day, this week. can you say better time management. i'm a student, not a friggin' answering machine.

thing that made it dreadful #2: the physical activities. the batch dancing, that dance in PE, and all that other stuff. i'm not fit, but i'm not unfit either so saying that this week was not only mentally exhausting, but physically exhausting too is a lot. i just get so tired after i come home from school that i am in no capacity to be doing any more studying. i just relax a but, get some dinner down, open some book, and then fall asleep. I AM EXHAUSTED.

thing that made it dreadful #3: TODAY. FRIDAY. the mastery tests, the english long test, the TLE and religion "habol" sessions. ugh.

thing that made it dreadful #4:  the drama. who needs drama?

this week has been dreadful also for reasons that have not been stated above. i can't stand the bitching. not even my own.

currently listening to: true colors - glee version

this had to be the longest day of the week so far. and it's only monday.

the day started out innocently enough, with a faith sharing. i really liked the faith sharing this morning because i just sat there and zoned out. eco was fun because all everyone did was crack jokes. and i actually knew something about the issue we were discussing. someone just keeps on getting on my nerves for her parasitism. can she just stop? i've accepted that i'm not the most generous person so she really shouldn't push it. i don't know what's stopping me from telling her to get lost. after all, she's the one who'll suffer in the end. stupid leech.

the physics long test was...long. i felt like i was taking the friggin' exam. i didn't know what to do for a certain test she had in there. well, we'll see. it was really a bad idea to have a discussion after that brain-draining test. nothing was getting through my skull as she discussed the formula for bernoulli's principle. which begs the question, is there another name for bernoulli's principle? calling a principle by any other name does not make it easier to stomach. english period was the same. everyone was noisy and the reporters did their thing. there had to have been a better way to discuss dante's inferno.

research was cancelled so we had trigo instead. i totally failed that quiz she gave us earlier. i studied, i really did. i just studied the wrong thing. darn. double period of religion because we're a catholic school like that. and finally filipino where we discussed "cellphone".

hung about after dismissal. as we were going home, the craziest thing happened. and i do mean crazy. i don't wanna blog about it. that's how crazy it was. crazy in a bad way. crazy. and my neck and back totally hurt because of it. pshh.

i have no idea how to do my micropaper. whatevs. it's due on friday. you know it's not homework until it's due tomorrow.

currently listening to: tiffany blews - fall out boy

i always wondered where those Wowowee girls got their dresses. not just them. everybody who wears dresses. i always think, "where the hell did they get that?". now, after shopping all afternoon with my eldest sister, i have the answer.

dresses are everywhere. literally. my brain just never registered that they existed. my eyes glaze over when i see them.

right now, i wouldn't be caught dead wearing a dress. but there was a time when i did wear them. when i was very young. now, my bodily issues have prevented me from wearing dresses and girly shoes. as i was browsing with my sister, i felt like i wanted to wear a dress. i wanted to get over my issues and just do what i wanted. besides, isn't wearing a dress something conventionally exclusive to girls?

alas, i'm too conscious of what people think to put myself out there. "myself" isn't fit for public viewing. you know what i mean?

today is day one of the recognition day practices. i got up at 6AM for the first time. the last time being the last day school. i felt sleepy and groggy for most of the practice. we didn't get much done today. the teachers can't seem to stick to one particular method of walking up the stage and getting our certificates. they seemed very unprepared. hopefully things get better tomorrow.

ysabel lost her wallet during lunch. we never got it back. hopefully it turns up tomorrow. there was some drama with my mom and sister as to how i'm supposed to get home. apparently, neither of them care if i get home or not. they're both too wrapped up in their own affairs to worry about mine. i am so lucky to have someone like belay who is willing to give me a ride home. hmm. maybe she deserves a gift. just to let her know i'm not taking her kindness for granted. a cupcake, perhaps? krispy kreme donuts? i know she'd appreciate something edible.

i guess my radical haircut shocked people for about two seconds. i got used to it. so did they. :) i'm not mcloving it but it's fine until it grows longer and i can go back to being my old self. :D

i'm so tired and sleepy. so i guss that's all for now. bye!

ok. i swore to myself that i wouldn't do it. but, i did anyway.

i cried today. on the last day of sophomore year. i managed to squeeze out a couple of salty tears when i realized these people weren't gonna be my classmates next year anymore. i realized just how great our class is. how i can basically approach anyone and they would be ok with it. how when you have a group project to do, you are never disappointed with your group mates because one of them is usually a close friend. and you pretty much know everyone's strength and weaknesses.

yup. that's what's so great about it. you know everyone. like family. i am gonna miss them so much. we've had ups and downs as a class but we're still here. i hate to think of the class next year who's gonna have so much to live up to.

the best thing about this class is probably the people in it, and the friends i've found among them. if it hadn't been for this, i wouldn't have met ysabel, or hung out with daryll again. if this class didn't happen, i would be a lot poorer in terms of the laughs and happiness it has brought. i love II-4. i really do. i've never found a love like this. it saddens me that we have to go our separate ways.

oh, i remember why those tears betrayingly came out. it finally hit me that belay and daryll weren't gonna be my classmates next year. there's always a possibility. but i hate it for being there. it makes me hold on and keep hoping that we might still be together. i don't want to hold on anymore. i want to make peace with the situation and accept the truth. but i can't...because there's still that friggin' hope.

i've thought about turning back time. i would start appreciating what we had everyday, instead of taking it for granted. but then, if i turned back time, and i was conscious that our time is not forever, i probably wouldn't be missing them as i'm obviously doing now. (does that make sense to you? it does to me. it's just so hard to put exactly what you're feeling in words)

i hate that i have to watch my comfort zone vanish. the comfort zone being my classmates.

it was so good. i would arrive at 7 and see the faces of the early birds like carmina, marta, jillianne, arianne, erika, etc. then, more people would arrive and it would start getting noisier as everyone told their stories. then, someone (usually sarah, janinna, bettina) would catch up to singing the national anthem because they don't want to be late.

during classes, you could always spot someone eating, and you have to wonder how they don't get caught by the teachers. i'm also left wondering why they cannot wait until recess or lunch. i admit, i ate...ONCE. i just wanted to taste the crackers that everybody thought was so awesome. i think they were corned-beef-flavored. quite good, really. i can also always see someone looking inside their bags, and you know they're obviously checking their cellphones for messages, or texting back. i am also left to wonder how these people have the courage to bring their cellphones to school, let alone use it in broad daylight. bringing cameras are actually considered normal. i brought mine to school one day and i was so scared i hardly took any pictures. that's the difference between me and them, i suppose. so, enough about rule-breaking. let's move on to other topics. like our subjects. on second thought, that sounds like a boring topic. maybe on a different entry.

hmmm....dancepro. we were riding high from our victory during first year. but second year proved to be much more difficult. the powers that be were obviously against us. it doesn't matter. we're still losers. :D (alvin)

oh! one more thing why i love my class is because they tolerate our singing. nobody seems to mind if we sing high school musical every-friggin'-day. sure, there are those who pretend they hate our singing voices, but i'm almost sure they're gonna miss it when it's gone. it saddens me that we might no be able to sing as much as we want to next year.

what can i say? this class is friggin' perfect.

except for the occasional theft. as a matter of fact, i still refuse to believe that the thief could be a classmate. how could anyone stomach that? i know i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i knew i got someone else's money. money that most probably came from hardworking parents or money that came from weeks upon weeks of saving. but whoever that is, she/he has obviously made peace with the situation. relax, IF you're the thief, i'm not making you feel bad. unless you are, then you obviously have to think about what you did....more.

throughout the year, we had to participate in a lot of class activities. as in activities that involved the whole class. i remember our less-than-awesome cheer dance on that family intrams/fitness day (forgot what i was called). do you remember when we danced to the hairspray song 'you can't stop the beat'? i think we didn't do well at that one for the same reason we don't do well on other class activities: we're all perfectionists. we want everything to be perfect so we always find something to make the activity better for all of us. we mean well, but we don't always get the results we want. i've learned that sometimes, it's better to just stick to the original plan rather than make elaborate changes midway. it just confuses everyone. (of course, this is my personal opinion and it is not intended to offend ANYone -- don't reread it and find something offensive!)

alright, i think i've said quite enough, even though there are lots more to say. goodbye now. goodbye forever.

a lot of things have happened ever since i last posted. maybe blogging wasn't the awesome thing it once was to me. i used to blog for reasons i can understand. 1) place to vent my frustrations 2) place to express myself--show what's in my head 3) keep a record of my life. lately, the things in my life are worth recording. but it seems i don't want to remember them anymore. my friends are awesome. my family is awesome. my life is good. certain problems have arisen (?). oh...one last reason that i blogged so much before: i had tons of time. i'm not really quitting. i still consider this place my own. no one knows about it unless i tell them my url. haha. i haven't changed it since i told mikka but i doubt she'll remember it....or save that particular conversation we had on ym. i still think about blogging. its my videocam that recorded some of the highlights of my life. i guess...what i'm trying to say is...i can never quit you.

i love her. but she can be such a pain sometimes. yes, we're talking about daryll. she's an awesome friend. but she's still human. sometimes, she just acts like a total needy, idiot. it annoys the heck out of me. i just want to scream "use your friggin' head!" sigh. still seething. dance pro has been nothing but a race to finish last from the start. what we face right now is no longer the hope of winning, but the spark of actually being able to finish the whole song. i kinda doubt it right now. thanks to our awesome teachers. the encouraging adviser, the more than helpful co-ad, and the ever responsible pe teacher. conflicts arise in the classroom because of make-up, props, and other such things. damn. saying sorry to daryll right now, dunno if she even deserves it. this is saying sorry because you want the fight to be over, not because you truly mean it. gawd, i gotta go. i can't believe they're putting school work on top of all this dancepro shhh.