i am so confused right now. its all because of debate. ahhh! since i am in the debate team, naturally, i get to compete. but i get to compete in the nashdc. it spans 5 days. 3 of which will be school days. i'm not too confident about going. apart from the fact that i am stc "e", it sucks because i feel debate is getting way too time consuming for me. the debaters are not exactly a great example. they're not outstanding students. and that's what i'm really aiming for. i want to be an os more than anything. debate used to be fun. but now i feel that its just plain work. the pressure is on and nothing or no one is encouraging me to go on. i don't want to miss school at all. what about daryll? daryll is not even a really major concern. well, she is. but you get the point. what about the missed quizzes? practices? tests? lectures? am i supposed to give that up for an extra-curricular activity. omg! what if they actually kick me off the team? that would be the shame of my life. damn. i hope they're not that harsh. debate is really becoming a stress for me. but i'm trapped. maybe next year i'll join an extra curricular activity that doesn't require so much time and energy. like the theresian mag. no bad example. like the explorers. hey, i like science! why, oh, why am i faced with problems other people don't seem to have.