stop the feel good music and start typing. i have been entered into the IDEAlyte competition. i love the idea of it but i feel like i don't deserve to go. ate clara was approached first, then jody, and then me. i feel so bad about it all. like i forced myself to be part of it. now i have a whole new worry. my dad just came into town and i can't spend time with him. he's been away for so long and i miss him. i miss the freebies and the company. just malling, you know. he told me that he wanted me to go for it but i could tell that he really wants to spend some time with me. i want to spend time with him too! this sucks! not only do i have the nash next week, i also have idea this weekend! good luck to me. i haven't trained in weeks!! i wonder how i'll fare. we have to wear orange--as part of the rainbow. great. i look terrible in orange. it makes me look darker and it doesn't offset the redness of my face. debate is really putting a stop to all other activity besides. i haven't even matter loaded yet. this was supposed to be a free 'n clear weekend. until tuesday. now, i have to spend the entire weekend, and train on tuesday. thursday is the filipino bigkasan and the final day of training. the next day, i leave for nash! ahhh! can i really balance this? can i cope up with the school work? will i be an OS? am i an os for the first quarter? ahhhhh!!!! dad, if you ever read this, i want to spend time with you, i really do because sometimes i don't have the chance. i love you, dad. i have trouble saying that out loud but really, i do.

deabte is for people with no social lives and no academic goals.